The downside of being a breeder...

[Golden Gate Geckos]

I'm so sad. I had to put down two of my beloved geckos today... my Tremper reverse stripe male and a lovely patternless female. The male was mauled by a female during a breeding attempt and suffered permanent damage to his spine, and the female laid a clutch of eggs last October and has never eaten again. There was no quality of life for either of them anymore, and my heart was broken every time I dropper-fed them. It's horrible to see something you love waste away and not know what to do to help them.

There was a time when I could not even imagine killing one of my geckos. I would let them go as long as possible, agonize over the decision, and when it finally sunk into my head that they would never recover I took them to a vet to euthanize them with an injection.

Today, I put two of my geckos in the refrigerator until they went into a cold coma, and then put them into the freezer. I killed my geckos today, and the only people that can even come close to understanding how heartsick I am are all of you. Sometimes I think if I hear another "it's only a stupid lizard", I will go postal.

My husband told me, "A good breeder cares enough about their animals to humanely end their lives when there is no hope... and a better breeder feels horrible about doing it".

I hope this makes me a "better" breeder...

 

[Jedi Master Bruce]

It is heartbreaking, and all of us here feel the same way. But you did the right thing and the right way.

 

[Grinning Geckos]

(((HUGS))) I know exactly how you feel. I haven't had to choose to put down any leos (yet), but we have had to do it for other beloved pets. It has to be one of the most painful choices you can make. I am walking that line right now with my cat Troi. I've had him since I was 10. He's doing good, but is starting to have kidney problems. Even thinking about it makes me cry...despite the fact it may still be some time yet before I say goodbye.

 

[NaughtyDawg]

I know how you feel.

I had to put a small one in the refrigerator on the weekend. It had been beaten up pretty bad and had a broken leg and a few patches of missing skin. It was heartbreaking watching this poor lizard try to walk.

You did the right thing.

 

[Russ S]

I've been there Marcia, it's never easy.

((HUG))

 

[brandy101010]

I'm sorry you are so heart broken but you did the right thing. They are no longer in pain. I know from experience that it is very hard decision. I have had many animals in my life as I used to rescue animals and take in unwanteds. and have had to go through it many times. It never gets easier.
Hope you feel better soon.

 

[The NY Gecko]

Marcia, I had to do the very same thing no more than a week ago, and I understand. I dragged on for so long and the freezer was the hardest door ive ever opened and clsoed in my life. I'm terribly sorry.

 

[Golden Gate Geckos]

Thanks, everyone. I'm very lucky to have made such a close circle of friends in this reptile community. If you really think about it, the one think that really does bring us together is our love for our gentle creatures. Sometimes we have to love them enough to say good-bye.

 

[shrap]

And it brings tears to my eyes every time I have to do it....

 

[gothra]

Marcia, to love them enough to say goodbye is not easy; you are very brave to do the right thing; they're enjoying their new life in gecko-heaven now.

 

[RaiQuee]

Marcia, your husband said some very strong and correct words. Altho it doesn't feel like it now, you really did make yourself "the better breeder" by humanely letting them rest. You put them out of their pain, and that's whats important. *hugs!*

 

[nora]

your husband couldnt be more right marcia..

you did what you had to do, and you understood that it wasnt fair for your geckos to live the way they were living.. it's only natural to feel as bad as we do for doing something like this to our animals, cuz if we didnt... then we wouldnt be human.

 

[Jeanne]

I am so sorry to hear that Marcia. I know how much they mean to you. I have had to do it a few times, and it is ALWAYS hard. The hardest one was putting down one of my very first geckos. I had her for almost 5 years, broke my heart to close the fridge and freezer door.

Funny how these little buggers grow on you. And, I know what you mean about when people say "But its just a lizard". That makes me so angry, like they feel less pain than we do.

 

[robin]

you know marcia i had to put down two of my most loved animals and i will probably be having to put my most favorite gecko down and it's not something i look forward to but i don't want him to suffer. i have tried everything but for him to suffer i can't bear.

 

[The NY Gecko]

I hate that "But its just a lizard" BS too. I go psychotic on family members and friends when they feed me that. I love my geckos as much as my cats and dogs, and why shouldnt I, theyre just as much my pet, an animal, and a living creature as anything else. Personally i find geckos cute, their eyes and their quirky behavior

 

[rrhill]

I had to euthanize my leo Laverne last year...it sucked. She was the first gecko I bought. I bought her & her sister Shirley at a show almost 12 years ago. I'm not gonna lie, I cried like a baby when I had to put her down. It sucks having to make that decision but I know it was the right decision.

 

[nwheat]

Marcia, I am so sorry! I had so hoped that Lucas was going to make a miraculous recovery! Putting a pet down is such a hard decision to make, regardless of species. Glenn certainly is right and you are undoubtedly one of the best and most caring breeders around!:heart:

 

[Jeremy Letkey]

Not a lot to add. I am sorry. Anyone who enjoys this hobby for any length of time will have to do what we have all done. It never gets easier but we have to decide what is best for these lovely little creatures.

Just know that we can all sympathize. :cry:

 

[Gary Orner]

DOwnside to breeding for me is culling a clutch if it is defective. I have only had to do it twice in the many years but I never bred the adults again.

1.1 JCP had babies with very very very tiny heads. I will see if I can dig a pic up to scan.

1.1 burms had babies with no eyes.

 

[dragonflyreptiles]

Oh Marcia, I am so sorry but you know in your heart even as much as it hurts that you did the right thing. Its never easy and it never will be!

You did the best thing for them and they will suffer no more because you care enough to help them out of their pain.